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Day 7: The Shame of Success

Writer's picture: Donnia  AnastasiaDonnia Anastasia

“They” say that if you want to be successful, you must have a success mindset. Thoughts, behaviors and speech that exudes confidence and success. That success means making lots of money, having respect of others and working really hard.


They say in order to be abundant you must have an abundance mindset. And the first thought that comes to mind when I say abundance is… money.


They say when you aren’t making a lot of money - you may have old, conditioned “money stories”. These are basically thoughts you have thought long enough they are now wired into your subconscious as truth. We then act on these truths every single day, with no extra effort as to why we think them.



I have always been “successful” by the standards of the world, by the standards my family set up for me. I have had my own businesses since I was a young teenager. Working really hard to make money to buy my family and friends things to make them like and love me more. Working really hard to get the car, the house, the stuff. Unfortunately, my drinking took a lot of that money. I had been a high functioning alcoholic and everyone else was that way - so I was normal. I fit in.


 My money and success shame stories are too many to account for here, but one in particular comes to mind. I made more money than my dad ever did in all the jobs, or businesses I built. He told me as much. That created a block in my mind/body that it was shameful to out earn your parents. Again, I was confused, “you want me to be successful, just not more successful than you??” Enter, upper limit behavior. I am only allowed to be so successful, so happy, so wealthy. This was my glass ceiling. 


I had deeply internalized this story and until recently didn’t know it was one of the main headlines running the movie of my life. I did everything I was told and taught to do. But I was “too big for my britches” and so I had to tone it down a bit. To dim my light to fit in. Afterall, the last thing a good girl wants to do is make her dad feel bad. If I made him feel bad, he would cease to love or be proud of me. To this day, I have never heard him say he is proud of me.


I am sure this perpetuated my addiction and my shame - creating a whirlwind of lies every time I made any money. Our subconscious brain will pull from every area of our life to keep us safe, reminding us of that story or this story that we have wildly misunderstood as truth.







Day 7 Rewrite - Reframe my Shame of Success


What is success?

Where in your body do you feel those words vibrate?


What if success meant you are kind?

What if success meant you are compassionate?

What if success meant you have running water and heat?

What if success meant you had food to eat?

What if success meant you did the best thing - for you?

What if success meant you treated everyone with love?

What if success meant you loved yourself?

What if success meant living your passions?

What if success meant you lived your life in joy?

What if success had nothing to do with money, or fame, or stuff?

What if success was individual?

What if success was seeing the greater picture of one consciousness?

What if success was present moment awareness?

What if success was laughter?

What if success was freedom?

What if success was gentle?

What if success was easy?

What if success was not outside of you?

What if we were already born successful?

What if we didn’t have to hustle to be successful?


What if, just for today, we saw our lives, 

our bodies, 

our addictions, 

our lessons, 

our gifts, 

our laugh lines, 

our sagging bellies, 

our shame stories, 

our upper limit awareness, 

our eyes blinking on their own, 

our embarrassing moments, 

our joy,

our difficult moments, 

our suffering, 

our very being ALIVE as being successful?


What would change? Everything. Our very existence would shift.


Shame comes in many ways to teach us just how incredibly worthy we are - simply by existing. Shame no longer controls my life, my relationships or how I show up. Shame and I will always be good friends, but for now, at least, I am taking the path less traveled. The one where shame is a memory. Join my workshop Oct 28-Nov 1 to get deeper insights about how shame is blocking you from fully, wholehearted living authentically. www.donnianastasia.com/5dayworkshop


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DISCLAIMER: As with all health related issues, by law, I cannot claim any of the information presented as sole medical treatment for any condition. The innate intelligence of your body knows the answer and as such must be discussed with your preferred medical professional assisting you on your path of health and healing. I ask you to do your due diligence and be responsible for your own health. My purpose is to share holistic healing and transformation for educational purposes only. As the Buddha said, no matter who said it, even if I have said it, disregard if it does not resonate with your own soul. 

©2025 DONNIA ANASTASIA, HLC, AHC, ABS, LMP, EOLD, BFA 

No part in full partial shall be reproduced without written permission from the author.

© 2025 DONNIA ANASTASIA

THE YEAR OF MAKE BELIEVE

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